


Role-playing

by Evitcani



Series: Living and Dying Beneath the Veil [15]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: I laughed through almost all of this, M/M, Mostly funny with a lil bit of oral sex, OH Fantasy Costco, Post-Canon, Sexy Roleplaying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:00:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10633722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evitcani/pseuds/Evitcani
Summary: Kravitz opened up the instruction manual, which was a solid tome.Someoneapparently liked pretending to be a sexy adventurer quite a bit. The box stressed something about therealistic experience.Otherwise known as: Kravitz and Taako play a sexy version of D&D and the author rolled real dice. Example: Kravitz rolled a failure trying to take off his shirt. Taako had to assist.Don't need any other series context for this. This is just hilarity with a smattering of smut.





	1. No Luck

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 59 spoiler warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey remember when I wrote a big thing about how I don't write smut unless I have a good reason?
> 
> I thought it was too goddamn funny for characters from a D&D campaign to play a sexy game of D&D. And I think Taako would be hella into it. He'd be too distracted by the game for the actual sex. 
> 
> I spent a lot more time rolling real dice and doing mini character sheets than writing this thing. Kravitz had such bad luck, poor guy.
> 
> Also, my usual warning that this story includes Taako with a penis. If that's not your headcanon, I totally understand if you want to stop here. If you want to read the hilarity up to the explicit sex parts, stop around when Kravitz leaves the office. c:

This didn't seem like a good idea. Still, Kravitz was willing to try most things once. Not being exactly mortal, he didn't have much to lose trying something new with his partner. So, it wasn't like he was afraid. 

No, Kravitz just didn't understand how it was _sexy_. 

Furthermore, Kravitz didn't even want to ask where the game had come from. It was from a glossy box Taako had eagerly opened when he'd gotten home with it late one night. The thought that Fantasy Costco had opened in the city made a thrill of fear shoot straight through him. 

The box had been filled with paperwork and smaller boxes with buttons on them. Taako had tried explaining the magic behind the game, but it'd gone straight over Kravitz's head. He'd taken off with his own character sheet and left Kravitz to make his own in private. It all seemed like a ridiculous length to go to for sex. 

Kravitz opened up the instruction manual, which was a solid tome. _Someone_ apparently liked pretending to be a sexy adventurer quite a bit. The box stressed something about the _realistic experience_. He clicked the button on his little box and it buzzed out a mechanical voice, "Cannot not identify race. Manual input, please." 

He folded his hands in front of him and stared at the options that presented themselves before him. It took him half an hour to tentatively poke the air around ' _Tiefling_ '. The box rattled back to life, "Please select your class."

Kravitz covered his mouth as he read over the options. His choices included, ' _Naughty Noble_ ' and ' _Agent of Love_ '. He selected ' _Sultry Bard_ ' figuring it was at least true to life; the bard part, Kravitz wasn't sure about sultry. Or he didn't think they'd need to be playing this game. The little box buzzed again, "Rolling statistics!" The cheer died and it made some concerning rattling noises. As Kravitz was getting up to tell Taako it was broken, it came back to life, "Flexibility: nine; Stamina: fifteen; Wit: ten; Experience: four; Charm: eighteen." Kravitz stared at it, offended. 

Checking the instruction manual, it said this was all randomized, then optimized for ' _new players_ ' to best fit their class. This seemed like an awful lot to keep track of. Maybe that was why these things seemed to do a lot of the work. Kravitz continued picking through the configurations of the character he was supposed to be playing. Some options were locked since he'd apparently rolled so abysmally on experience. Not like he wanted to be a ' _sex god_ ' anyway. He was going to guess that was exactly what Taako picked. He ultimately decided to pick ' _Paragon of beauty_ ' and go fully into the charm department. His other one gave him a point in stamina and flex. 

The little box buzzed its praise when he was done, "Character complete! Have a fun and consenting time!" Kravitz read over the instruction manual while he waited on Taako, becoming more concerned about what kind of dark magic Taako had brought into their home. At least it stressed being able to leave or get out of the game at any time just by thinking about it. The part that Kravitz didn't like was that it specifically used the verbiage ' _get out of the game_ '. Which meant there was a game to get _into_. 

Taako scurried downstairs, holding his own character box triumphantly. "Okay, c'mon, let's go, handsome! Man, you're gonna love what I've cooked up for you, my man," he grinned. 

Kravitz was _very_ concerned. 

"Alright, love. Where are we going?" He held out his character box to the elf who just shook his head and slammed a big button on the other box. The whole world tilted and Kravitz was alone, in an inn room. He started, looking around, but quickly figured out it was all an illusion. An extremely realistic illusion, but an illusion all the same. He really could leave with just a thought. 

The mechanical voice of the character box buzzed near his ear, "Your partner selected _Naughty Noble_ and can be found at the castle!" Kravitz pinched the bridge of his nose. He had hoped they'd just get to the heart of things with some flavor text, but this was going to require some actual effort. 

There was a knock at the door. Kravitz glanced down at himself, of course he was naked. "Just a moment," he called to whoever was at the door. He went over to the travelling bags, finding clothes to quickly dress. He opened the door and a vacant illusion in noble clothes stood there.

"Prince Taako is requesting your presence at the palace, post-haste," the illusion cried, then turned on heel and walked out. Kravitz ran a hand through his hair and was surprised to encounter _something_. He poked at them, then turned to the mirror hanging over a small basin. He had horns and completely black eyes, his ears were less pointed, too. He rubbed at his chin; he _had_ selected tiefling. He wondered what would have happened if he'd selected something like gnome or elf. 

Curious, but he sort of wanted to find Taako, fuck him into a fancy mattress, and then cuddle in their own bed. 

Kravitz picked up his bags and headed downstairs. The tavern slash inn was full of illusions, playing through loops of animation. He realized it may not have been obvious where the castle was, so he paused to ask the bartender, "Could you tell me where the castle is?" 

The character box buzzed in his ear, "Rolling persuasion: thirteen." 

The barkeep scratched at his beard. "Just go up the hill there, stranger." He eyed Kravitz suspiciously and Kravitz remembered he was a tiefling. Of course they would have programmed in racism. "You're not going to have any trouble, are you? Prince Taako's well-liked in these parts." 

Kravitz gave a charming smile and leaned an elbow on the bar. "No, no, not at all." 

"Rolling persuasion with disadvantage: seven. Failure." 

He sucked in a breath and turned to leave. Kravitz didn't want to find out what a failure would do. He didn't get to the door before a burly militiaman put a hand on his shoulder. "I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding," he protested. "I was invited by Prince Taako to go to the castle." 

"Rolling persuasion: Critical failure." 

This was supposed to be a sexy game. "Yeah?" One of the militiamen got right in Kravitz's face. "Why don't we go down and ask the prince that together?" His face being slammed into the floor was really _not_ sexy; it also _hurt_. They put plastic ties around his wrists and threw him into the back of a militia wagon.

Kravitz had swears on the tip of his forked tongue through the whole rattling trip up to the palace. When they finally got there, Kravitz was fuming. They grabbed him roughly and dragged him out. "When I get free, I swear to The Raven Queen I'm going to come find you." 

"Rolling intimidation: Critical failure."

"Fuck," Kravitz swore. 

The militiaman laughed in his face, then backhanded him. It definitely broke Kravitz's nose by the crack and he opened his mouth to breath as blood poured down his face. "You're going to spend a _long_ time in the dungeons, scum." The militiaman spat in his face. Kravitz bared his teeth at him in a snarl. 

"Rolling intimidation: 20. Extremely successful!" 

The militiaman backed off a little, eyes darting aside. Palace guards came out and hauled Kravitz by the arms into the throne room where Taako appeared to be having the time of his life, reclined on the throne and being fed grapes. Kravitz glared at his lover as he was brought forward. One of the guards struck the ground with his polearm, "Your majesty, this man stands accused of plotting your assassination." 

Taako looked up, then caught sight of Kravitz. "Babe!" He stood like he was going to dart forward, but hesitated. He cleared his throat. "Bad! I meant bad, homies. Look, why is his face all busted up? I invited him here."

"He threatened the officer who arrested him," the guard lied. 

Kravitz glared flatly at Taako. "He slammed my face into the floor when I tried to explain the situation." 

"Persuasion check: 20. Extremely successful!" 

The nobles muttered amidst themselves, shocked at the brutality of the militia. Taako waved his hand at a cleric who rushed forward and fixed Kravitz's face. The guards cut the ties and released him. He rubbed his wrists and approached the throne. "If we could retire to private, _your majesty_ ," he grumbled. 

Taako grinned and winked at him. "This violence cannot stand," he started.

"Taako, I'm _fine_ ," Kravitz hissed. "Can we just get this over with?"

Taako frowned at him. "Stop being such a downer, babe. C'mon, it's fun if you try. I'm a prince and you're a lowly bard. Watch your tongue when you address me," he smirked. 

The reaper couldn't believe Taako was having _fun_. He rubbed his temples and let out a frustrated huff. "I am squeamish about violence, your majesty. Could I _please_ retire to another room while you take care of this matter?" 

"Oh, c'mon, handsome, this is what it's all about," Taako laughed. 

"Charm vs charm contest: Taako rolled an eight; Kravitz rolled an eighteen. Kravitz wins." 

Kravitz grinned triumphantly and Taako sighed, waving his hands. " _Fine_ ," he paused, "Wouldn't want to offend your poor, blushing ears." Taako winked again and Kravitz rolled his eyes, following a guard out of the throne room. 

The room he was taken to looked like an office. Kravitz pulled one of the books off the shelf. It looked like elvish, but was blurry. He blinked, trying to focus on it, but eventually shook his head and put it back on the shelf. He picked up another one which looked more like Infernal. He wasn't surprised to find it seemed to be about sex. He closed it and put it back, then went to riffle through the drawers of the desk. The first one was just full of dildos and he laughed at the absurdity of it. 

"Experience check: three. Failure. You are very embarrassed by these."

Kravitz blinked, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks. He shut the drawer and sat down, deciding to twiddle his thumbs while he waited. Eventually a guard came back to retrieve him. "The prince wishes you to wash up before you are to meet." 

Nothing could be simple. "Of course he does," Kravitz complained. "Could you just take me to him?"

"Persuasion check: twenty-three. Extremely successful!" 

The guard rubbed her chin, then nodded. "Alright, he can hear your complaints in person." She guided him back to what seemed to be Taako's private apartment in this illusionary castle. "Your majesty, the bard wishes to speak to you." Taako sighed and dismissed her with the wave of a hand. 

Kravitz took a few long strides forward and grabbed Taako around the waist, trying to tangle him into a kiss.

"Experience check: four. Failure." 

He fumbled, feeling like he was back to being a teenager kissing behind the old storefronts. Their teeth clacked together and he pulled back immediately, bright red. He'd split his lip. "Sorry, love," he mumbled. "I think I failed an experience check for kissing?" 

Taako blinked rapidly, then started laughing, holding onto Kravitz's shoulders. He stopped suddenly and grabbed Kravitz's face, forcing him to bare his teeth. "No shark teeth, shark teeth!" He carefully ran his thumb over Kravitz's teeth and the reaper braced for his mouth to be filled with blood. "Hell yeah! You are so sucking my cock before this fuckin' night is over, babe." 

"Experience check: eight. You do not know how to give oral sex." 

The reaper found that when he rattled around his brain, he, in fact, did not know how to give oral sex anymore. "I don't know how," he blurted. "Taako, maybe we should go home? I think this thing just stole my memories of how to give blowjobs."

Taako waved his hand vaguely. "It doesn't _steal_. It just temporarily obfuscates the knowledge. Shoulda invested more in experience like I did, babe," he crowed. "Wait, is your character a virgin, Krav?" Taako sounded slightly disappointed.

"Experience check: two. You do not understand sex."

Kravitz pinched the bridge of his nose. "I hope you're happy, Taako. I don't even _understand how sex works anymore_." Taako covered his mouth with both hands, but the howl of laughter burst forward from between his fingertips. Kravitz felt like his cheeks were on fire. "Alright, well, what about you? Do you know about sex?"

Taako winked at Kravitz. "Babe, you gotta know I picked up that ' _sex god_ ' feat," he was still giggling faintly as he grabbed Kravitz's hand and dragged him back to the bedroom. "Man, I can use this to fuck with you so much, my dude. Hold on. Lemme think of a good question."

"Taako," Kravitz warned. 

"Oh, oh! Are you into tent porn, handsome?" Taako leaned right into Kravitz's personal space, putting a hand on his chest. Kravitz glared, refusing to answer. "Okay, okay. Well, anyway, my dude. We should get back into character," Taako declared. He reclined back into one of the seats. "I've heard tales of your beauty from far-off lands, handsome. I had to make you my own." He tilted his head and offered a hand to Kravitz. Taako seemed to be really getting into this. 

The reaper hesitated, then tried to play along. "I'm, ah, flattered by your advances, you majesty," he hesitated, wondering the best route to revenge. A smile spread across his face and Taako's face slid into wary. "However, I am saving myself for the one I love." 

Taako gave him an exasperated look, then put back on the charm. "I guess I'll just have to become the one you love, _beautiful_ ," he grinned. He stood and took Kravitz's hand, leaning in so their foreheads touched. "Good info on me, bubala, I'm a hard man to keep your hands off of." He reached up with his free hand and traced Kravitz's bottom lip with his thumb. "Though, so are you. Clearly, the tales of your looks only touched but a, uh, _fraction_ of your beauty. This was much more of a dangerous endeavor than I had originally anticipated." He had affected an accent, trying to sound fancy. His hand slid down the side of Kravitz's neck, then down to his waist. Taako pulled back and brought their interlocked fingers to his lips. His words brushed against the back of Kravitz's knuckles. " _Yes_ , only standing here I am threatened by being lost to you." 

Kravitz wanted to swear at Taako for knowing exactly how to make him melt. He'd wanted to make this harder on the elf. Taako so rarely professed his love and this was doing all the right things to the reaper. He pulled their hands down and pressed a light kiss to Taako's lips. Taako's hand slipped under Kravitz's tunic as he deepened the kiss. "I love you," Kravitz murmured between kisses. 

"You're real fuckin' easy, babe," he whispered back, teasing. Taako sat back in the chair, tugging Kravitz closer with the linked hands. "I think it's time for us both to learn how good you not needing to breath is." Kravitz started to sink to his knees, but Taako stopped him. "Strip for me, shark teeth," he commanded. There was an arrogant lilt that did something for Kravitz, even if he wasn't quite sure what that something was.

Kravitz started to take off his tunic. 

"Experience check: nine. Failure." 

He stumbled, getting it stuck around his neck. "You have got to be kidding me," he snarled. Taako laughed and stood, helping him get undressed. It wasn't as much of a show as the elf had seemed to want, but it avoided Kravitz's horrendous luck. He sat back down and guided Kravitz to his knees. Kravitz fumbled with the ties of Taako's pants.

"Experience check."

"Don't even," he snarled. 

"Three. Terrible failure." 

His claws raked over the ties and Taako yelped, nearly jumping out of the chair and kneeing Kravitz in the neck. Kravitz choked, breath knocked out of him. Taako reached down, putting a hand on the top of Kravitz's head. "Istus, babe! Are you okay?" He sounded worried. 

Kravitz covered his cheeks in embarrassment. "No. My luck is awful." Taako carefully looked down at the cuts on his waist, hissing in pain.

"Hoo boy, handsome," Taako sighed. "This is gonna be a real problem. Shit, what if you bite my dick off because you fumble a roll?" He looked down with slight fear. 

Their character boxes chimed in, "No real damage is inflicted inside the game. All pain is simulated."

Taako rolled his eyes, snorting. "Comforting. Okay, look, handsome." He wiggled up farther in the chair, then started pulling his pants off. Kravitz did his best to help, tossing them aside when they were gone. His soft tunic still fell over his lap. "There! No pants, less chance for us to get some shell in our omelette. Sex omelette. Wow, that sounded a lot better in my head, homie." Kravitz laughed, feeling a bit petty to be enjoying that Taako was getting at least some of Kravitz's misery at his terrible luck. He kissed the side of Taako's knees, then started kissing up the elf's thighs. "Do you still know all my sweet spots, handsome?" 

"Experience check: six. You do not remember." 

Kravitz glared up at Taako's curious face. "Not _anymore_ ," he sighed. "Do you know all of mine?" 

Taako's face went blank, then lit up. "Babe, you're not going to believe this. I just _learned_ some with that crit," he laughed. He reached forward to trace along Kravitz's ear, then gripped the nape of his neck, pulling lightly at the hairs there. Kravitz couldn't have stopped the soft moan if he wanted to. "Yup, tuckin' these away. This is going great for Taako, I dunno what your problem is."

"It's going to go great for you until I roll a critical failure and finish before we start," Kravitz said pointedly. 

It looked like Taako hadn't considered that. "Oh, right. This is sort of a two-player experience," he replied mournfully. Kravitz went back to pressing kisses against Taako's thighs, hand snaking forward to brush under the tunic and against Taako's bare hip. He teased the skin of Taako's upper thigh with his teeth and tongue, then moved his hand from Taako's hip to touch the elf's cock. It was just starting to show interest, which Kravitz thought was fair. Taako shivered and Kravitz paused to check if his own heart was beating. It had picked up some time ago, it seemed. He was getting better about easing into it without being startled. 

He lightly ran a finger down the length. "Not going to be much fun later without lube, love," he murmured somewhere against Taako's hip. "We should get it now before we have to stop in the middle to find some."

"Got a cantrip for it, my dude," Taako mumbled back, sounding thoroughly distracted. "Tastes like key-lime go-gurt. It's a, uh, character quirk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm. Sorry to cut it off here, but I haven't even started writing The Exterior of Annihilation's chapter for the day. The sex will continue in the next chapter!


	2. Better Luck This Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to _The Exterior of Annihilation_ readers. New chapter going to be late. Couldn't focus until I just slammed this one out. 
> 
> That passive check just about killed me, by the way. I made the DC so low and they both failed so hard.

Taako waved a hand, then reached down to touch himself. Kravitz covered the elf's hand with his own, forcing Taako to go slowly as he slicked his cock with the demonstration lube. He liked to rush and after so much trouble to get to this point, Kravitz was going to draw it out. Taako sank down in the chair, moaning. Kravitz moved his lips to the base of Taako's cock, kissing and licking slowly. Taako's breath hitched.

Kravitz had never been allowed this close to Taako's dick with his mouth before. As much as the elf mourned not getting Kravitz's mouth on him, there were practical reasons. Kravitz was going to lap up this opportunity to please his lover both figuratively and literally. He pulled their hands off the elf's cock. He had known for a while that he got off on what he was doing to Taako more than whatever they were doing. His eyes flicked up to watch Taako's face as he licked the tip, taking it into his mouth. 

The reaction was much more vocal than visual. Taako slumped back farther, biting back a loud moan. He gave up on holding back his voice as Kravitz started sliding further down his cock. Taako's hips stuttered forwards and Kravitz choked a moment, then remembered he didn't need to breath. One of Taako's hands wrapped around one of Kravitz's newly acquired horns as the elf peered down at Kravitz. Kravitz watched some hesitation cross Taako's face, then he felt Taako pulling his head forward by his horn. "Take it, babe," he ordered. 

Kravitz swallowed, cock twitching. This was a brand new discovery. He let Taako drag his head forward, putting his hands on the elf's hips to steady himself and rubbing light circles with his thumbs. Taako set a brutal pace, one hand gripping the arm of the arm of the chair, the other hand keeping Kravitz's head bobbing up and down. He barked out commands between moans about exactly how the reaper should use his tongue. As much as Kravitz wanted to drag this out, he felt like he was enjoying this far more than he should have. It was also possible he just enjoyed making Taako go hoarse with his own mouth for once. He could tell Taako was getting close by how much louder he was getting.

"Rolling wit check: nine. Failure. Partner also failed wit check."

That wasn't sexy. "Shit, I was so close," Taako hissed. The pressure from Taako's hand on his horn disappeared, the elf catching Kravitz's eyes as he also seemed to process what was going on. They were still both attempting to switch gears from Kravitz having Taako's cock deep in his throat to trying to figure out what they failed. 

There was a pounding at the door. "Light of my life," a masculine voice called. "It is your fiancee come here from a long voyage. I thought I heard strange noises and heard tale of a bard accused of plotting your assassination." 

Kravitz covered his mouth, trying not to laugh, as Taako slapped a hand over his face. "You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me, thug," he muttered. Kravitz could see Taako was opening his mouth to tell the fiancee to ' _fuck off_ ' when their character boxes chimed in.

"It would not be ideal to be discovered!"

Taako glared down at Kravitz as a laugh slipped past. Then, turned his attention on the door, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'm just, uh, gettin' out of the tub or whatever, homes. In the nude. Don't disturb," he called. After a second, he looked down at Kravitz and mouthed, " _Hide_." 

The reaper felt like this was oddly familiar. He darted under the bed. At least, he tried to.

"Rolling flexibility: twelve. Pass." 

He sighed in relief as he hid under the bed just in time for the door to burst open. He couldn't see anything from this vantage point besides a pair of nice boots and Taako's feet, which disappeared as he sat more casually in the chair. "Hey, hey," Taako barked, "I don't burst into your room, kid. Get the hell outta here before I call the guards to drag you out on your ass." 

The fiancee replied quickly, "Why did you lie to me about the bath? What are these?" The fiancee picked up Kravitz's discarded pants. "These look a bit too _plain_ for you, darling," he complained. 

Kravitz didn't need to see Taako's face to know the glare the elf was directing the fiancee's way. "Did I stutter, hombre?" 

"No, no, I'll leave, then," the door slammed as the fiancee retreated and Kravitz crawled out from under the bed. 

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his curls. "Can we finish this in our own bed?"

Taako grinned up at him, laughing, "Do you know the last time I got to tell some dude off for being in my face? And with you hidin' under the bed? Babe! You can't tell me this isn't fun." 

The reaper rolled his eyes and sat on the bed. He put a hand over his chest. "Well, my heart stopped, so we'll have to get that going again, first."

"You still gotta warm mouth for a while," Taako grinned at him lazily, reclining further on the chair so the tunic rode up to expose his cock, still hard. "Get back on your knees and finished what you started, _peasant_ ," the tone was light, but still had that arrogant lilt that absolutely assumed Kravitz was not going to refuse. 

Kravitz leveled a look at him. "With such wonderful words of love like _peasant_ , how could I possibly resist, my prince?" 

"Charm vs charm: Taako rolled a fifteen. Kravitz rolled a ten. Taako wins!"

He rolled his eyes and stood up, knowing he had a choice, but at least his lover was having fun. It wasn't like Kravitz was _despising_ it. He sank down in front of Taako and the elf positioned himself to be easier for Kravitz to reach. "You're not getting my mouth again, then. Going to need more seduction for that, love," he warned, laughing when Taako gave him a disappointed look.

"What do you want me to say? You're so good with your mouth and sexy as hell with that whole demonic eye thing," Taako's attempt at crooning lovingly was not especially good. Kravitz gave him an unimpressed look. "No, of course not, handsome. What gets your engine revvin' is cutesy stuff. Like -." He looked away and wound a hand into the reaper's curls. "I didn't even know I could be this happy until I met you." Kravitz leaned into his touch encouragingly. "No, not when I met you, that's stupid, you tried to kill Merle. It was when you loved me and you didn't - You were good to me. I know, I know," he laughed. "I should expect someone to be good to me, but you're better than good. You always ask. You get mad, but you tell me you're mad or hurt or whatever and you _understand_. That - that sometimes I don't mean to be an asshole and you give me the space to realize I was being one and I don't know how you do it. I'd piss _me_ off." He waved his hands, like his statement of love had turned into an argument.

Kravitz reached up and took his hands. "It's because I love you. _You_. You're Taako, but sometimes you're an ' _asshole_ ', too," he laughed. He released Taako's hands and rested one on the elf's thigh, tracing small circles. Taako laughed at the swear, breath hitching when Kravitz wrapped a hand around his cock. 

"Told you that you were real easy, babe," Taako murmured, head lolling back against the chair as Kravitz swirled his tongue around the head. 

Kravitz pulled back and snorted. "You're the one who managed to keep it up through all of that. However, I do believe I might have been quite the purveyor of sex in my past life." He wrapped his lips back around the elf's cock.

Taako blinked rapidly, curious eyes back on him. "What! That fuckin' character box thing - mm - stole your m-memories of being a successful prostitute slash bard?" Kravitz rolled his eyes but didn't reply as he took the cock deeper. Taako seemed to set aside his line of thought for getting them back to where they had left of. His moans were louder, as if to spite the man who had interrupted them earlier. His hand went back to Kravitz's horn, other hand going to the nape of his neck and teasing the sensitive skin there. Kravitz moaned against the cock in his mouth, even as Taako kept the pace just as brutal and rushed as before. He couldn't protest wanting to head home sooner rather than later. 

This time, as Taako got closer, he ordered Kravitz to touch himself. It didn't take long for a full body shudder to go through the elf, forcing Kravitz to take his whole cock as he slumped forward, spilling himself down the reaper's throat. Taako pulled himself free from Kravitz's mouth, but stayed leaning forward, hand still gripping the horn. "Love you, babe, so good, so sweet," he murmured hurriedly. He panted, kissing and licking along Kravitz's sensitive ear until the reaper came across the rug, moaning softly against Taako's thigh.

Once they'd both recovered, enough, Taako stroked his hair. "I can tell people I skull fucked Death, now," he crowed. 

Kravitz glared and pulled Taako onto the rug with him. "If you ever say that again, you will never find my lips anywhere near your cock, love," he warned. 

Taako grinned, laughing. "That means there _might_ be a next time, though." 

"Well, you do have that interesting cantrip we haven't put to real use yet," Kravitz murmured, rolling on top of Taako and straddling his hips. Taako put a hand against Kravitz's thigh, smirking up. "The rug or the bed, love?"

"Rolling wit check: seven. Failure. Partner also failed wit check." 

"I swear, if it's that mother fucker again -," Taako muttered as the door slammed open. 

The fiancee returned, holding a sword. He glared down at Kravitz. "I knew there was something going on! Rise, fiend, I challenge you to a duel!" 

Taako slapped a hand over his face. "Nope. We are _not_ doin' this post-oral, thug." The room faded, giving them both brief vertigo as they were left standing in their kitchen where they'd left. He glanced at the clock. "Hard to believe only five minutes passed," he sighed. 

Kravitz caught himself on the back of the chair, setting his character box back down. "Taako, where did you get this from anyway?"

"Oh, Garfield the Deals Warlock opened a Fantasy Costco in the city, bubala" he replied casually, packing back up the contents of the game. "It was on sale."

Death felt a thrill of terror edge down his spine. "Never mind, we are never using this again," he said quickly. "I do not want to know what that _thing_ gets out of this besides our money."

Taako snorted and slid the lid back on the box. "I mean, he built Maggie a body. Could be really useful," he laughed. 

"Taako, have you ever thought what he was going to _do_ with Magnus's body?" Taako paused, like it had just hit him after all these years. 

"Oh _no_ ," he hissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wipes off hands* It's done!
> 
> if you're wondering: The answer is _yes_ , this is exactly what spurred Kravitz into proposing in _A Summer Afternoon and Every One After_.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow my [Tumblr](https://evitcani-writes.tumblr.com/).


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